Journal: Fix Your Gaze

Parker Silver 


(THEY/THEM)
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I am twenty-five years old. I have been living in Vermont for about seven years. I'm not from Vermont originally, but I moved here for my undergraduate degree at Champlain College.

I have developed a wonderful, small community, and while I see growth, there is much work to be done until I can say I feel fully supported. I find the question of representation harder to answer the more intersections of identity that are involved. There are parts of me I see represented, being Black, being first generation, being queer, being agender. But when you live with all these different parts of yourself and representation being so few, there are so many nuances and specific experiences you can't see. So disjointedly yes, but do I feel represented at a level even comparable to a young, cis, white person? No. There's always a need for more and different and niche representation. I consider myself a creative because I said so. My undergrad degree is in Creative Media, and one of the lessons I took with me is that there are so many ways to be creative and so many careers. More specifically, that lesson combined with the Miyazaki effect: idealizing and romanticizing the mundane. So how does that combine? I find more people are creative than they give themselves credit for, whether it's an accountant making a beautiful spreadsheet, a homemaker making new meals for their family, a sales associate making a cool floor display, or someone who gets paid for their art—we're all creative. So I see being a creative as an inherent part of myself.
But when you live with all these different parts of yourself and representation being so few, there are so many nuances and specific experiences you can’t see.
Maybe this is the highlight of my ADHD, but I dabble in almost any medium I can get my hands on at one point or another. My tried-and-true mediums are as follows: visual art (digital, ink, acrylic, gouache, pyrography), creative writing (poetry, fiction, comic scripts), performance art (burlesque, TikTok, slam poetry). Before the pandemic I was in performance art administration doing artist services for the Flynn Theatre and performing burlesque monthly. Once COVID hit, I pivoted hard and started my small business, Hi Ho Silver Works, where I design clothing, make prints, and take commissions. I created a TikTok and gained a modest following so now I do content creation. To top it off, I am looking to produce some events in Burlington starting in 2022. 

Some artists I've been listening to a lot lately are Denzel Curry, In Flames, Megan the Stallion, Grandson, Bishop Briggs, Raja Kumnari, and Corpse Husband. It’s tough to list them all though, because I listen to music constantly.

There’s always a need for more and different and niche representation.